I knew that this day was coming, but that doesn't make it any easier now that it's here

Ze Frank finished The Show today.

It is very difficult to explain how this feels to someone who didn't watch it.

One person on the forums said it was like all of us had been dating him. For 3 - 5 minutes a day we would listen and he would talk. He'd tell us his thoughts, his hopes, his fears. Things that inspired him and things that annoyed him. How he felt about people in Starbucks knowing it was his birthday. How he felt when random crap got him down.

The other amazing part of it was the community. Being a sports racer, being a fabuloso. Knowing that there are people out there who have been touched the same way you have. Knowing that the community would do things for its members, like when a guy went across continental USA using only sports racers for transport. Playing collaborative chess with all sorts of people and learning more about chess than I could digest. Playing in the ORG, 'you are not alone'. Avoiding being a hard charger. Remembering the initial drive to show Ze to as many people as possible.

Wanting to find other sports racers in the future, just to share that feeling again.

Not wanting to let it go.

Thankyou, Ze.

No Effort

There always seems to be such a very big gap between the things that I daydream about and my everyday life. I do not have any real fear of the future, or of change, or of dying without achieving anything by which society will supposedly measure what sort of a person I was. My fears swirl around living a life in which my dreams are more pleasant than my reality. Where the what-ifs and the might-have-beens take up more space in my memory than the things I did. So I am afraid of dreaming about things that might never happen. Things like being an author, since it is so easy to imagine never ending up as an author. In some ways the issue is that all I'd have to do is do nothing and my life would end up living itself and being empty and meaningless.

I also wish I could fly.

Lifeshapes

Are you happysad? We have this brief moment, pointpoint, timetime, nothing else.
Is that enough?
Are we chasing the horizon or is there a goal? Define a culture by consumption by excess by decadence by ondemand whenyouwantit asmuchasyoucanafford. No wonder it gets heady when it ends. Hard to tell. The finality of choices make it fragile. Long moments endure. Hold them. Choose them.